Thursday 19th March 2020
Today was not what I had in mind. I had to forgo the walking because the electricity here is not the right kind of electricity apparently, to charge my car, so I had to drive to Barnsley. There were cars waiting to charge, which is very unusual but it gave me an insight into the “real” world. I think the real world is walking in the hills, among the trees, beneath the buzzards, arching in the wind and walking on the stones that have a deep consciousness unlike our own. All these things that are oblivious to us humans, who are weighed down with forethought of suffering. People had collected their young ones from univeristy or were going to collect them, and I suddenly thought, I too have a person at university. Why have I not troubled myself about him? What kind of a mother am I? And then I remembered what kind of sons I have. Strong independent and well able to contact me if and when they want me. But I did phone my eldest son when I got back and he does want to come home. It was a joy to talk to him. Sainsbury’s has been cleared out he told me, of wine. And I had a moment of shopping panic. No wine?
We talked about what we will do with weeks together in isolation, two sons, their girlfriends and my partner, Andy. And soon we felt very excited about digging over the vegetable patch, cutting hedges and grass and making things with bones and leather. It is high time we made some drums and there is a deer skin in the freezer from a road kill deer we picked up at christmas. Suddenly isolation seemed less pandemic and more pandemonium. In a good way. But how will I feed six people I wonder. Perhaps we will drive around at night and pick up the road kill, or go skip diving behind waitrose.
So my silence has been broken today and I will return to the dry stone walls tomorrow, and press my ear to the earth and see what it has to tell me. I have come away without shampoo and was looking rather feral, so I braved a Spa shop and bought a crusty roll while I was there.
It is very interesting that everyone, including myself, thinks that we are somehow above the masses who are panic shopping and over-reacting to the CV crisis. I’m not like them, we think. We are so individualistic, in our knee jerk reactions and our superiority.
It would be true to say we are living in mythic times, times that will be analysed and recorded in history (if we survive). The balance of the domination of the masculine principle is turning, and we are moving back into an era where the feminine, earthy more sensate world is flourishing. Back to the earth, back to the waters, birds and trees. Back to sweat and labour, real sex, real food, and getting out of our heads and into our bodies. Whew! At last. And if you are not already there it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I hope you enjoy it.
Meanwhile, if you can’t get out, I am available to shop for you. If you want a chat, please call or a walk, as long as we stay 2 meters apart. Lots of love to you dear friends. Stay out of your head. It can be a troublesome place. xxx